Cranberry no Miko (cranberrynomiko) wrote,
Cranberry no Miko
cranberrynomiko

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Adrift

Things've been awfully nasty lately, really, but I don't particularly want to talk about them. Let's just say I've been in denial (aka blind and stupid) and have had to face up to some unpleasant realities. ~....~ People changing can be a sad thing.

Other than *that* mess, things aren't really good or bad. I'm settling into work, although I really ought to transfer. The time I waste commuting is frustrating.

Beyond work, and my hellish social life, there's ... nothing. I'm at a total loss for what I want to do. I felt like this after I got out of high school, and then I had a whole bunch of things I had to do: moving, going to college, moving back, getting a job.

Now I'm just kind of lost. I know what I really want to do with my life: become a writer. Novelist, I suppose. (I'm not picky -- I just want to tell stories.) But between people not wanting to read my work, and other people telling me to go to school and get a "real, stable" job, I feel like my lifelong dream is almost stupid. Makes it hard to want to sit down and write, ya know?

Enough whinging; I'm going to go play Star Ocean (the newer one -- bought it today) until I can sleep. Maybe tomorrow will bring some sense of purpose with it.
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