One last warning: If you have really strong feelings about religion, you may be offended by this. Please do not take this seriously, I'm just mucking about.
If you're reading my personal journal and are easily offended about religious things, I have to ask: Do I actually know you?
The world's gonna end in less than twenty-four hours, and I want to get laid.
The second half of that's no big surprise; I'm your average, horny not-quite-a-teenager-any-more male. It's not like I'm *old* or anything, I'm almost twenty-one.
Not turning twenty-one for another month, which leads me to my second -- third -- point:
I really need a drink.
But for the moment, let's go back to the beginning. This planet's about to bite the dust, which may or may not be my fault.
Honestly, it's a lot closer to really being my fault, but I hope you'll forgive a little big of sugar-coating the truth under the current circumstances.
Yeah, so, I was out on a weekend trip to the beach with this great girl. Really hot, funny, and totally interested in me. I especially liked that last one.
We were down on the beach, watching the sunset. A wonderful "romantic" thing to do, and if a girl calls it "romantic," I call it "a good lead-in to asking for sex." I've got a one-track mind, what can I say?
This shooting star I wished to get lucky on decides it doesn't like being picturesque on the horizon, and splashes down in the ocean.
Turns out it's a spaceship. It's this kind of stretched out silver ball, halfway between a perfect circle and a high school textbook picture of a sperm.
A very polite voice starts speaking from the spaceship. I've always wondered what aliens would say first, but I never would've guessed the truth:
"Fear not; we come in peace."
And then the things step out of the spaceship, and it all makes sense.
Not just people with wings, honest to God (we'll get to him in a moment) angels. They fly over to the beach and stand in front of us, glowing softly in the dusk. They've also got this crazy noise that always follows them around, kinda like a really quite choir humming hymns.
The angels begin to speak, very quietly, and proceed to tell me a pile of things that pretty much nobody would want to hear. Let me make a list, to get their points across.
1) We, as a planet, are a test of morality.
2) We, as a planet, have failed.
3) We -- every last one of us -- are going to get destroyed.
That third point had an "if" attached. If there was anything in my memory that'd give them a good reason to believe that humans as a species weren't corrupt and immoral, they wouldn't kill us.
Out of everyone on this stupid planet, they just had to pick *me*.
Note tacked on for my personal journal: I haven't been writing much, so I decided to dive back into it the proper way, i.e., headfirst without much forethought.
And no, I don't have a clue where I'm going with this. I just had that first line in my head, and I worked from there. I might not post these things every day, just FYI. I'm kinda bad with the whole "going online daily" thing.