That, in a nutshell, is how I screwed over the whole planet.
Luckily, after the angels went back into their sperm-like ship and left, there was only one person who knew that fact. My date. She had been shocked into not talking for a good twenty minutes or so, but she had to recover eventually. And when she did....
Ow. The big bad momma bitch of bitch slaps.
"You complete fucking idiot!" God, when did she start to sound like a harpy? Less than an hour ago it was all cooing and "Oh, you're so sweet!" and nonsense like that. Now it's lots of ear-piercingly loud screeching and a good deal of "Fuck you!"
She storms off, taking our rental car and leaving my stranded on the beach. Yay. This brings me back to where I started this little story:
The world's gonna end in less than twenty-four hours, and I want to get laid.
Of course, seeing how my day's gone so far, that's not gonna happen. I sigh, pause, sigh again just for good measure, then start trudging down the beach.
It starts raining and I wish I hadn't left my shoes in the car. Thank you, my dear -- wait, what the hell was her name? Eh, like it matters now. She's gonna be nonexistent in less than a day.
So will I.
Man, that really, really sucks. Sucks rubber ducky eggs, as my little niece is fond of saying. I'd usually go with the tried and true 'Sucks big, hairy donkey balls,' but that's just me.
I wander down the beach a little further, but my heart's just not in it anymore. s
Then, out of the blue, I start hearing that crazy humming that I've only heard from the angels -- well, and this one crazy bum, but I'm pretty sure he was actually *humming*.
I look up, and see a glowing white shape coming down at me really fast. My only thought is, 'Wow, they hated me enough to kill me early.'
Gah. Bloody mornings. I'm tired, my grandfather is holding a lengthy conversation with THE CAT, and I get to work with my SMC (stupid male co-worker). That and I've got some sort of ad-ware on this comp and pop-ups are multiplying faster than a hydra getting it's heads hacked off.
Coffee. If I get coffee, everything will be better.