P.S. The ones marked with "R" are mine; "M" are hers.
"Wait a second, dead people aren't supposed to ejaculate..." M
"That would've been so much better if you were an underage schoolgirl." R
"Happy birthday, dad!" M
"Sorry, didn't mean to get it in your hair." R
[girl] "Wow, my cock is hard again!" M
[girl] "Next time, *you* get to try double penetration." R
"Mmm...that was great. Now go finish off grandma." M
"Well, excuse me! I didn't know you wanted to use the decomposing baby today. You could've mentioned it earlier." R
"Here's your Klondike bar." M
"No, you can't save my semen and use it in a protein shake." R
"Well, it was better than gouging my brain out with a rusty spork!" R
"Good god, why didn't I gouge my brains out with a rusty spork?" M
I feel so immature, suddenly. I suppose I'd better gouge out my brain with a rusty spork. Oh, wait. Do they even make metal sporks? Now I want one....