I'm half-tempted to post some of the character descriptions from this book. It's from 1920 (or so) and is a collection of character types described by a wealth of different authors. The first one in the book is Theophrastus (B.C 372-287), apparently translated from Greek. Admittedly, it's a hard read, but interesting all the same. And they use oodles of semicolons and put two spaces after them, which gives me warm and fuzzy feelings.
Plus it's huge; perfect for fending off the zombies. Assuming I even noticed while I'm looking up yet another obscure word.