The Oregonian's a bloody menace. They call us frequently, trying to get us to subscribe. We turn them down over and over again. They drop Food day in our driveway anyway. We call, get put on the "do not drop" list. They continue to litter in our driveway. Today we received two, possibly three calls from them. (I didn't answer the last one, luckily for them.) The first was absolutely grating. An automated system informing me that it was a call from the Oregonian subscription department, it was a telemarketing call, and I could hold if I wanted to talk to someone. I swore and hung up.

How the fuck do I get them to leave us alone?! I'd like to explain to them that my basement is a fire hazard from the many stacks of newspapers up to my waist or higher, due to my hoarder grandfather. Don't send us more. Fucking. NEWSPAPERS!