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"Thou art mine..."

Yep, today was Friday. Friday is great. Maria-chan was genki, which made Friday even better. Shel-chan's getting sick, which is very very bad.

...and I'm leaving in two days, which makes me kinda sad. Going to mom's wedding is going to be great, but I *hate* leaving my friends behind. Even if it's just a wave in the hallway or five minutes between classes, I love seeing them every day. I'm gonna miss all you guys like crazy. Watch for the angsty poetry on my journal, nee?

Other stuff in my life is going so-so. I massively screwed up this quarter in homework, and it was probably part due to me angsting all the time and not wanting to deal with reality. As for the angst, I'm getting over it. I got to the point where my angst was annoying me, because I was turning into a pathetic loser, and I hated it. So, no more mind-numbing angst. Slight angst, yeah, but nothing serious for now. I'm resigned and a little philosophical about it all. Everything you go through makes you stronger, right?

As for not wanting to face reality, well, I still don't. It's not a happy place. People get old and die, bad things happen, you won't nessecarily live "happily ever after" and sometimes real life just plain sucks. Even with all of that, I have no right to screw up my life by trying to avoid it. Reality hold just as much good as bad, and the good comes from embracing reality, working with it and fighting through it and toughing out the bad times. If you do you get rewards like friendship, love, good memories and moments that are so perfect and beautiful they touch your soul. This is what I want in my life. I have many good memories, and I cherish them, even if the people in them have changed or gone away. I have experienced moments of perfection, which give me faith in the world and strength to go on. I may not have romantic love right now, but I have friendship which is better in many ways.

So, here's to everyone who's my friend; past, present and future. Cheers! Let's make our way through this world called "reality" together and see where our lives lead us. ^.^


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 15th, 2003 05:37 am (UTC)
I wouldn't be surprised if part of the problem is winter depression...hang on Spring is coming....

Don't fret reality, yes there are sad times...but if you never feel sad, how will you recongize happy? Besides would you condeme everyone to live, when their time to go has come? The hardest part is being left behind.

I'm very glad you are coming to my wedding, I know you will miss your friends...I do all the time. But I always know I'm loved, even when I'm far away and all alone.

And you are as well...

I'm having a thoughtful day too

Love ya
Cranberry Mom
Mar. 15th, 2003 07:20 am (UTC)
*Chear's along with Rae-chan*

Hao Cran-mom!
Mar. 15th, 2003 08:04 am (UTC)
Groovy chick that you are plus angst equals ?
Yes, Rachel, I am with you in thought and spirit, as well as sometimes for encouragement through the weirdness that is high school. I am very glad you have your friends. They are good people. Best of luck and happiness on your trip. Have fun!!
Mar. 15th, 2003 09:17 am (UTC)
*GLOMP* I'll MISS YOU!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT TIME IN SCOTLAND!!! DON'T FORGET TO UPDATE YOUR LJ WHILE YOU'RE THERE!!! I'm glad to hear that you're getting out of your angsty phase. I like it when genki-you a lot more. And I totally agree with you when you say that life would be better spent on not dwelling on things but moving on.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )